Time is so strange. It seems when you are headed somewhere the pure anticipation is agony-a sweet nagging of the senses. When you are headed back, the time flies in such a way, you wonder how on earth it seemed so long before!
It's also strange when it comes to other things. For example, time between friends, family, lovers, enemies always seems to march a bit differently. In some instances, you would expect everything to be just like always, just to find with a little bit of time the people (including yourself sometimes) have changed, drastically at times. Then there are times that it seems ages have gone by and things are exactly the same…like you've only had a door between you and when you open it, you continue a paused conversation.
Time seems to age us, make us feel younger, bring about greater wisdom, or make us feel stupid for all the change around us when we seem set in our course, unable to keep up.
We are linear beings – plodding down our paths, mundane or otherwise – slowly, one minute at a time…. We can't seem to see past the minute that we are in. Okay, some can guess, some have a line on the future maybe we don't get, but for the most part, we can only see so far. God, on the other hand, knows it all…sees it all.
Sometimes, it is so very hard to take your hands off the wheel and let things fall as they should. We want to push things forward, or pull them back to get the end result we think we want or need. What we end up with is a most terrible mess.
Several months ago, I began thinking along these lines, and realizing that many of the things I've dealt with came from decisions that I made. (Duh, right?) What I mean is that because I had relied solely on my (sometimes shoot-by-the-hip) decision making, I had created more problems than solutions in my life. But what are we to do? Go to friends and family?
If you don't know it yet, that's not the answer. First, they live their own linear little paths and they can't understand yours. Heck, I bank that they barely understand their own. What is good for them might not be right for you. You have those that are so optimistic that you want to smack them, and that they see no reason for your concern. You have others who can't see anything positive in a situation, especially one that they know little about. In essence, we are on our own with making our way, right?
Put that anxiety about…whatever it is…aside.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7
Reading this makes my heart sing because it is a provision of our One True God. He promises us that if we come to Him with love, thanks and humility and present Him with all our hopes and dreams, He will guard us from foolishness, fear, failure. When we let Him handle it, and we allow ourselves to accept His answer as the final answer and we let that peace take us over knowing that we have done the best thing we could do and give our control up to Father, we are setting ourselves up for the best life possible. As a child of Christ, we are no longer our own. We must give away our control. We must give away our choices and let Him guide us. If we don't, well…look at the mess you're in already, savvy?
It isn't easy to free fall. Sometimes I feel that's all that I'm doing. I wait for the confirming word, I wait for the clock to begin, the page to turn, the clock to flip to the double-digit answer. I wait because I am not down my linear path far enough yet for the next stage in the path I walk. And I don't try to push it. Not anymore. I just make too big a mess to consider it. Giving that freedom is frightening, at first. But it gets easier and easier. Because I've been able to do that, I've found something that I lost a long time ago when I closed my heart off. I have found hope again. And the adventurous zeal to see what happens when I trust.
Your choices are not your own. And time is His to use.
Before you make another mess of things, start giving that to Him. "That" being everything. Give it up, sit back and go along for the ride of your life.